I've been feeling a sense of restlessness for the last few weeks and it's been hard to discern why. I've realized that the difficulty with my ability to discern is most likely caused by my letting the craziness of December get me away from prioritizing my alone time with God. I hadn't had enough time in relationship with Him and I started to feel the downward spiral from living life more in tune with God to living life out of tune and on my own. When I started to realize this, I got angry about Christmas. I seem to have the hardest time staying close to God as the world is supposedly preparing to celebrate the gift of Christ to the world. There are many contributing factors. Including that by December I have been back at work for a few months at this point and am not as fresh, the weather is colder and the daylight shorter, and all the added stuff to do.
The fact that I was desiring growth and change but not staying connected to the one who can show me how to make this happen, ended up spelling internal chaos for me instead (and as a result some external too...sorry family!).
I've never been much of a fan of the new year, but in connecting it to renewal with God and giving him each day and moment of 2015, I'm feeling like it's my Christmas. I will be praying for continued trust and faith but in conjunction with prioritized time in relationship with God. I believe He will renew me and give me the love, patience, wisdom, trust, and persistence I need to live life in a way that requires faith but leads to greatness for God.
